Pictures

I spent this past weekend going through old pictures ( I LOVE to scrapbook!), and came across a few that are interesting and alarming all at the same time. I have been meaning to add pictures to this blog, unfortunately a lot of them are not in a digital format. I do plan to scan them and add them to the appropriate blog postings. Here are some pictures that I do have in digital format that show how cancer affected a 22 year old woman.

This picture was taken in September 2002, on my first trip to see Marshall in GA, I was 21

This picture was taken at the Westin Peachtree Plaza in February 2003,
this was our Valentine's Day, before the Bon Jovi Concert

This was taken summer of 2003, I was at my lowest weight around this time
(80 pounds lighter than in September 02)

At around my heaviest weight, thanks to months of magneisum/saline infusions
November 2006

Still nowhere near where I want to be, but 30 pounds lighter than November 2006
Summer 2010

The theme of these pictures is weight, and that is because I have struggled with my weight my entire life. It's kind of ironic that being overweight probably saved my life. Not many people can survive losing 1/3 of their body weight, but I did. It's kind of sad, at my sickest, I was at my thinnest, and my mom and dad told me how GOOD I looked. In fact, those were their very words when they saw the picture I have posted from the summer of 2003. In their eyes I was thin, but they did not see a picture of a very sick person, because the steroids I was on gave me a nice plump face. If it was not for those steroids they would have seen sallow, sunken in cheeks and eyes. (It was probably their way of coping, by pretending, but I have to admit, it hurt.) No matter how "good" they thought I looked then, my body is not meant to be that size. Yes I enjoyed wearing mediums and size 10-12 jeans, but I was extremely uncomfortable in my skin. I remember getting ready to take a shower and I saw myself in the full length mirror. I did not recognize myself, and that terrified me. I felt like I was wasting away.

As I started to get better, the weight came back. I was wearing size 18 jeans again by the fall of 2004, and that was okay with me. I had been averaging a size 18 since I was in high school. Actually, if I had to pick my target size, I would want to be between a 14 and a 16, and I am working on that now. Unfortunately, once the doctors realized I had a magnesium deficiency I was being infused daily with saline. Salt waler. As I mentioned early, I gained A LOT of weight in those months after the hypomagnesemia diagnosis. Luckily we were able to change the infusion liquid to dextrose, but the damage had been done. I have lost over 30 pounds since I was at my heaviest, but there is still a long way to go.

The moral of this particular story is that sometimes there is a reason it is hard for a person to lose weight. Throughout my childhood I was overweight, but I was never unhealthy. I am big believer in everything happens for a reason, and being overweight saved my life.