I know I haven't posted in a while. This is still somewhat hard for me. I have spent the last hour rereading through my posts, and I realize that there is still so much to write about. Part of the reason I have been holding off is because I want to be able to include pictures (and these pictures have to be scanned). For my family and friends they would probably rather not have to look at the pictures and see me that way again, but I really do think it helps tell the story.
Its funny, last Christmas my mom bought me this fuzzy white ski cap with a little turtle on the front. I think I must have had my hair up in a pony-tail, because when I tried the hat on, she got this look on her face. Then she said "okay, take it off." I guess in that very brief moment, she was taken back to when I was bald, and wore hats to keep my head warm. Its crazy to see that face of hers after all these years.
I understand how she feels, and that may be why she does not keep up with my blog postings, but that is okay. I know that my battle was just as hard on her as it was on me, for different reasons. Writing this blog is my way of coping and moving on. Someday I hope she is in a place where she can read it, laugh at the funny stories I recall, and maybe even help me remember the details I have forgotten.
